Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Wall Street Journal. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Wall Street Journal. Sort by date Show all posts

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Microsoft takes a bath on failed Nook partnership

Read article : Microsoft takes a bath on failed Nook partnership

After sinking $300 million into Barnes & Noble’s digital reading business, Microsoft is walking away with about $120 in cash and stock—and not much else.

As the Wall Street Journal reports, the two companies have terminated a partnership that began in 2012. At the time, the idea was to create a new subsidiary that included Barnes & Noble’s Nook and college businesses, in which Microsoft would take 17.6 percent ownership. The bookseller is buying back Microsoft’s stake for $62 million and 2.7 million Barnes & Noble shares.

Microsoft and Barnes & Noble were always tight-lipped on what their joint venture—mysteriously known as “NewCo”—would actually do, but one of the immediate benefits, they said, would be a Nook reading application for Windows 8 devices.

Two years later, the Windows app appears to be the extent of their efforts, and even that met its bitter end in March. Amid reports that Microsoft was building its own reading app, the two companies abandoned Nook for Windows and halted development on a Windows Phone version that never saw daylight.

According to the Journal, the split gives Barnes & Noble more flexibility in figuring out the options for its recently spun-off Nook Media unit, including a possible sale. Last quarter, the Nook unit’s revenues fell by 41 percent from the previous year, as both hardware and media sales plummeted.

Why this matters: The two companies working together seemed exciting a couple years ago, when Barnes & Noble was a main contender in the cheap tablet market, and Microsoft was readying a big consumer tablet push with Windows 8. But since then, Microsoft has refocused on being a productivity company, and Barnes & Noble stopped designing its own tablet hardware. The partnership had ambiguous goals to begin with and has since become pointless, making amputation the only reasonable option.

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Monday, March 19, 2018

Montana lodge for sale for $4.9million

Read article : Montana lodge for sale for $4.9million

 A luxury lodge on a 70-acre property in Montana is on the market for $4.9million.

The ranch, called The Summit, sits about 70 miles from Missoula by Seeley Lake.

The owners Jeff and Pat Aresty were living in Florida when they decided to look for a vacation home in Montana. 

The 8,000sq-ft home has three bedrooms and a sleeping loft, five full baths and two half baths. The kitchen has a wood-burning pizza oven.

The luxury lodge named The Summit sits on 70 acres of land in central Montana

The luxury lodge named The Summit sits on 70 acres of land in central Montana

The extravagant lodge is listed at $4.9million. The owners declined to say how much the land costed when they bought it

The extravagant lodge is listed at $4.9million. The owners declined to say how much the land costed when they bought it

Owners Pat and Jeff Aresty were living in Florida when they decided to buy a getaway in the mountains

Owners Pat and Jeff Aresty were living in Florida when they decided to buy a getaway in the mountains

The kitchen is decked out with a wood-<a href=burning pizza oven because the Arestys like to entertain" class="blkBorder img-share" />

The kitchen is decked out with a wood-burning pizza oven because the Arestys like to entertain

For Thanksgiving dinner the Arestys took the furniture out of the spacious living room and stretched out long tables in front of the fireplace to make room for 25 guests

For Thanksgiving dinner the Arestys took the furniture out of the spacious living room and stretched out long tables in front of the fireplace to make room for 25 guests

The house has views of the northern Rocky Mountains, the Mission Mountains and the Swan Range

The guest house next door sleeps eight and has three full baths.

The Arestys bought the original 40 acres parcel in 1991. They completed building a log cabin in 1994. In 2004 they added 30 neighboring acres. 

They declined to say how much they spent on the land.

Eventually the couple decided to make Seeley Lake their full-time home.

In 1999 they began a three-year remodel, adding a new living room, master bedroom, entry, powder room, gym, and hot tub. They also redid the kitchen and dining area.

‘It’s all about how it was built. It was impeccably built,’ Jeff told the Wall Street Journal.

There is an outdoor fireplace along with several indoor fireplaces for the sub-zero winter months 

There is an outdoor fireplace along with several indoor fireplaces for the sub-zero winter months 

A stone mason from Missoula worked on the cabin for three years

A stone mason from Missoula worked on the cabin for three years

The guest house has a <a href=fully functional kitchen area in addition to sleeping space for eight people " class="blkBorder img-share" />

The guest house has a fully functional kitchen area in addition to sleeping space for eight people 

The main house has three bedrooms

The red wood found throughout the house is hand-planed oak

The master bedroom has a stone fireplace. 'It's pretty nice to have a crackling fire in your bedroom,' Jeff said

The master bedroom has a stone fireplace. 'It's pretty nice to have a crackling fire in your bedroom,' Jeff said

The master bathroom has a freestanding bathtub and oversize shower. The flooring is local stone

The master bathroom has a freestanding bathtub and oversize shower. The flooring is local stone

The property's remodel took three years according to Jeff

The property's remodel took three years according to Jeff

The spacious kitchen is fully furnished with appliances including a wood-<a href=burning pizza oven" class="blkBorder img-share" />

The spacious kitchen is fully furnished with appliances including a wood-burning pizza oven

Jeff estimates that they have put more than $5million into the property.

The floors are stone and hand-planed oak.

The chandeliers came from an antique lighting store in Spokane, Washington, Jeff said.

A stone mason from Missoula worked on the house for three years.

The bunk beds in the sleeping loft were custom-made.

The master bedroom has a stone fireplace. ‘It’s pretty nice to have a crackling fire in your bedroom,’ Jeff said.

The master bath has a freestanding tub. There is a sauna next to the gym.

Jeff and Pat are both <a href=retired hospital pharmacists. They are selling their Montana home because they're moving to California" class="blkBorder img-share" />

Jeff and Pat are both retired hospital pharmacists. They are selling their Montana home because they're moving to California

The main house has three bedrooms and one sleeping loft

The main house has three bedrooms and a sleeping loft along with five full baths and two half baths

Most of the decor in the house mimics the natural scenery surrounding it

Most of the decor in the house mimics the natural scenery surrounding it

The chandeliers came from an <a href=antique lighting store in Spokane, Washington, Jeff said." class="blkBorder img-share" />

The chandeliers came from an antique lighting store in Spokane, Washington, Jeff said

The cozy house is nestled in the Montana mountains

The cozy house is nestled in the Montana mountains

When the couple bought the neighboring land, it came with a log house that they remodeled and turned into a guesthouse. The guesthouse has a kitchen, two bedrooms, a bunk room and three full baths.

There is also a detached two-car garage and a snowmobile shed.

The house has views of the northern Rocky Mountains, the Mission Mountains and the Swan Range.

The couple will miss ‘the solitude, the peacefulness and all of our friends’ Jeff said. 

The scenery surrounding the house is far from what the Arestys were used to when they lived in Florida

The scenery surrounding the house is far from what the Arestys were used to when they lived in Florida

The mountain home in a remote area of Montana 70 miles from Missoula

The mountain home in a remote area of Montana 70 miles from Missoula

The couple will miss the secluded quiet when they leave their Montana mountain home

The couple will miss the secluded quiet when they leave their Montana mountain home

For Thanksgiving dinner they would take the furniture out of the living room and stretch out long tables in front of the fireplace and have 25 guests.

‘It’s a great house for entertaining. We had summer parties and big Thanksgiving and Christmas parties for 20 to 30 people,’ he said.

The couple are both retired hospital pharmacists. They are selling because they are moving to California.

Bill McDavid of Hall and Hall has the listing.

The listing agent for the home is Bill McDavid with Hall and Hall. The photos show of the beautiful scenery surrounding the sprawling property 

The listing agent for the home is Bill McDavid with Hall and Hall. The photos show of the beautiful scenery surrounding the sprawling property 

The guest house is perfect for entertaining visitors who want to join in with the seclusion. It sleeps eight people and has three bathrooms

The guest house is perfect for entertaining visitors who want to join in with the seclusion. It sleeps eight people and has three bathrooms

Saturday, January 6, 2018

What is the best water temperature for your bath or shower?

Read article : What is the best water temperature for your bath or shower?

Few things feel better than a hot soak on a cold day. But the right temperature for bathing has been hotly debated since before the time of ancient Rome. One expert, Dr. Melissa Piliang, a dermatologist with the Cleveland Clinic, dives into why young people can handle heat better than old folks and explains why 112 is the magic number.

The Goldilocks bath
Hot water from the tap can run as high as 140 degrees Fahrenheit, but most doctors recommend setting home water heaters to 120 degrees to prevent injury, Dr. Piliang says. The optimal temperature to wash away environmental dirt and bacteria, she says, is 112 degrees or lower, “though you’d have to put a thermometer under the spigot to get an exact reading.” A shower or bath “should feel warm and not uncomfortably hot,” she says.


The epidermis has an outside fatty lipid layer for protection. “It is what keeps bad water and germs out and good water in, and keeps our skin moisturized,” Dr. Piliang says. She compares the fatty layer to butter on a knife: It stays put if held under cold water but melts away under a hot stream. That is similar to what a hot shower over 112 degrees does to the protective layer of people’s skin, she says.

Click for more from The Wall Street Journal.

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Sunday, March 5, 2017

Cheap ways to use your tax refund to fix up your home

Read article : Cheap ways to use your tax refund to fix up your home

Do small things around the house and make a big difference

If you're looking to spend it on your home, the typical tax refund is no great windfall.

The average refund through early April was $2,851, according to the Internal Revenue Service. Almost any remodeling job requires more than a paltry $3,700. Even adding a deck can set you back more than $13,000, according to Remodeling's online Cost Vs. Value report.

Still, that refund check could come in handy around the house. It may not get you a makeover. But it can give you a marketing edge. It can pay for modest home fixes to spruce up your property before you put it up for sale. Even if you're staying put, it can turn a loathsome eyesore into eye candy. It can help you splurge on a trend.

Here are a few ways to improve — or indulge — on even a skimpy sum.

BRING THE BLING

The market is hot, home prices are up and interest rates are still low. Thinking of making a move? "I would focus on increasing the 'bling' in the house to capture the attention of buyers," said Ryan Lundquist, a Sacramento, Calif., real estate appraiser. He reeled off some smaller-ticket examples: New light fixtures, a few ceiling fans, an updated kitchen faucet, switch plates and some fresh paint in the living room. Even a new mailbox out front. In all, you'll be giving your home a more polished presentation, said Lundquist, who writes a lively blog to educate consumers about all things related to the housing market. "In contrast, I could spend $3,700 on brand-new insulation," he said in an interview. "But focusing on what buyers can readily see instead is a better way to get higher offers." However, adding cosmetic improvements to make your home more appealing doesn't mean it will eventually appraise for more, even if it may appear that way on reality TV. "That's not how the real world works," Lundquist said.

TRENDING NOW

A stroll through HD Buttercup at the SoCo Collection in Costa Mesa, Calif., revealed some items pronounced drool-worthy in House Beautiful's 2017 home design forecast. For one, you can embrace what the editors call hygge (pronounced "hoo-ga"), a trendy Danish concept that translates roughly to a cozy feeling, by purchasing one of the large, soft throws adorning sofas all over the sprawling store. A white, furry-looking one for $125 would just take a nibble out of that tax refund. That would leave plenty of money left over for furniture with nailhead accents, or something covered in what designers say is also popular these days: Benjamin Moore's 2017 color of the year, Shadow. (Yeah, we had to ask, too. It's a deep purple.) Nearby at Pirch, a kitchen and bathroom showroom, we found a sleek, oversized kitchen faucet that would eat up the whole $3,700 refund — and then some. But, as salesman Jon Brown (whose business card reads "Advisor, Lifestyle Experiences") noted, "It's a statement all by itself." The Gantry faucet, with an articulated spout (it moves a couple of different ways), goes for $3,895. We also saw a Coyote grill priced at about $2,500 with exact spots designated for beef, chicken or vegetables. In the bath section, shower heads in the shape of large water drops were grouped together. They cost $1,500 each, Brown said, and people typically like to buy them as a trio. "It's a piece of art," he said. "Plus a functional fixture."

'The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets To Happy

'The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets To Happy Living' (Photo: Amazon.com)

96175458_20170104190739_ngclio_prod_20170104190754_96175460.jpg

What’s “hygge”? Think anything synonymous with "well-being": Coziness, ease and, above all, a warm glow. The truest form is found in candles. Scared of open flames? Try a low-wattage lamp instead. (Photo: Birch Lane via Associated Press)

SECURITY CHECK

You'll probably never come anywhere near to affording the James Bond-like set-up at the Fortress, a seven-bedroom house in the Hollywood Hills that recently wowed readers of the Wall Street Journal. But do you really want to bother with a key fob for every room? And how often would you use a bulletproof plate that slides down from the ceiling? You can put in a less intensive security system at your average castle for an affordable price. PC Magazine's Best Smart Home Security Systems of 2017 has an extensive round-up including a wide range of do-it-yourself products, professional services and reviews. At home improvement stores like Home Depot, video doorbells, motion sensors and security cameras sell for just a few hundred dollars.

BOOST CURB APPEAL

Dean Zibas, like Lundquist, cites small fixes that can add up — especially outside your home. "In general, it is typically best to just do an overall cosmetic improvement if one is looking for the best return," said Zibas, a real estate appraiser based in San Clemente, Calif. "Put in some elbow grease. Buy some new plants at the local nursery or home improvement warehouse and spruce up the front landscaping. Most homes, I believe, can be repainted for less than $3,000, so perhaps get the house painted," he said. Install new window screens, and do minor repairs to the hardscape and planters yourself, Zibas added. And don't stop at the curb. "Carry that effort over to the side and rear yards," he said. If you think that's too much DIY, or you won't get enough of an ROI, there's always another option. You can do nothing. Sock the money away. Add it to other savings to add a room someday or go full-on solar. Over the years, tax refunds can add up. So can your home equity.

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Friday, March 23, 2018

Home Tour: Remodeled Anderson Township barn becomes gorgeous modern dream home

Read article : Home Tour: Remodeled Anderson Township barn becomes gorgeous modern dream home

ANDERSON TOWNSHIP, Ohio — Jerry Whitney wasn’t looking to move, but he was looking for a clear route from his Anderson Township home to the airport on a day when interstate traffic was heavy. So he cut down Five Mile Road toward Kellogg Avenue.

“I didn’t want to miss my flight,” he said. “And then I saw this place and said, ‘Oh, my god, look at that barn.’ And then I saw a ‘for sale’ sign and Five Mile Creek behind it.”

He fell in love. When his wife of 14 years, Karen, saw it, she fell in love, too.

On Dec. 31, 2012, seven days after that first sighting, the Whitneys bought the 30-year-old horse barn and its seven acres at a 30 percent discount from a motivated seller. It cost them $300,000.

Fast forward 18 months and the Whitneys – who had no previous home construction experience – moved out of a 300-square-foot trailer on the property into a home like no other, a dream house they played a big role in designing and decorating.

The shock of the unexpected experience has worn off, but not the excitement and contentment they feel for their fully modern, energy-efficient barn house. Also still strong is their appreciation for their project partners – among them architect Marc McConnell, builder Paul Kapitula, Keidel Supply, A&S Lighting, Tate Builders Supply, Cooknee Cabinets, KBR Countertop Specialists, Home Depot, IKEA, The Container Store and Peoples First Savings Bank.

All these forces came together to produce a four-bedroom, three-bathroom showcase of modern architecture and engineering that surprisingly fits inside a big, old, round-top home originally built for horses.

Not only does the place run on a geothermal energy system that held down last summer’s utility bills to $90 per month, it is designed to be the Whitneys’ "forever home." The couple asked for and got what architects call “living in place” features that will allow the Whitneys, who are in their 60s, to stay in their home permanently.

The house’s hallways and doors are extra-wide. There’s a 4-foot-wide shaft just behind a door off the entry hall where an elevator to the second floor and its master bedroom can be installed if and when it is needed. Next to the shaft is a laundry room with a chute from the second floor. The master bathroom’s shower door is wide and wheelchair-accessible. Even the landscaping is designed to require minimal maintenance and no chemicals.

There are picture windows in every main room through which the Whitneys, for the rest of their lives, can watch the water rush down Five Mile Creek, lots of wildlife – deer, cardinals, doves, woodpeckers, nut hatches, tufted titmice and blue jays – and the moon and stars.

Take the Tour

The Whitneys – she’s from Bridgetown and is a University of Cincinnati graduate, he is from Lima, Ohio, and is a Xavier University graduate – wanted to retain the bones of the barn. And there’s no mistaking what it used to be when you turn off Five Mile Road onto their curved driveway. The house’s Quonset hut shape is enhanced by two second-floor dormers, a glassy grand entrance and the original cupola poking out at the roof’s center.

The barn’s industrial-strength foundation passed inspection with flying colors and was retained, but most of the interior – the stables, tack room and hayloft – was gutted to the arched laminated beams that support the rounded roof. To keep it water-tight during a 100-year flood, the entire house had to be raised 14½ inches.

Architect McConnell was so inspired by the place, Jerry Whitney said, that he sketched the floor plan in eight hours and then started marking off the layout with blue tape.

What strikes visitors upon entering the Whitneys’ home is its whiteness, its angular walls and windows, and its uncluttered, modern décor. Yet hints of the barn are there in the entry in the form of a frosted two-paneled sliding door that leads into the living room and a long, floating ledge made of chocolate walnut Jerry Whitney picked up on a one-day drive to Kansas City, Missouri, and back.

The Whitneys had hoped to repurpose two sliding wood doors in the old stable, but their condition was too poor.

“So we were in IKEA one day, and we saw those panels on some cabinets and said, ‘There’s our barn doors,’” said Jerry Whitney, a sales executive with a logistics software company.

The doors might leak a little heat, but the gas fireplace and heated, polished concrete floors keep the living room warm.

“My parents came here for two weeks in October, and they were so warm. My mother learned how to work the thermostat and kept it at 70 degrees. We practically had to kick them out,” joked Karen Whitney, a longtime physician’s assistant.

To the left of the entry hall and beyond the elevator shaft, laundry room and mechanicals closet are two bedrooms that share what the Whitneys call their “spa room.” The bathroom features sparkly, speckled gray quartz countertops, a dual-sink vanity with matching mirrors, a standalone soaking tub and a glassed-in shower with grass-like textured tile. Chrome is the metal of choice for the hardware and fixtures.

To be added to the “spa” features later this year is a fenced-in outdoor shower.

While family photographs in the bedroom at the front of the house stir memories, the bedroom in the back is filled with a mix of family-made art and heirlooms and images from vacations the couple and their four adult daughters have taken.

A glass door from the back bedroom leads to a covered concrete deck that stretches almost the entire length of the house. The deck faces Five Mile Creek and the woods of Withrow Nature Preserve and is accessible from the living and great rooms as well as the 2½-car garage.

Walking back to the entry hall, visitors pass a colorful Campari liqueur poster and a large portrait of an 11-year-old Jerry painted by the late College of Mount St. Joseph art instructor John Nartker.

Across the hall is a stairwell that reaches to the roof. It features a light oak staircase with stainless steel chords and rail and leads up to two more bedrooms, the kitchen and a beamed great room. The vaulted room includes a sectional couch and two stuffed chairs, a glassed-in wine closet, recessed lighting and one floor lamp, a 9-by-6 picture window, a gas fireplace, a big-screen television and a separate dining area with chandelier that faces the front yard.

The great room is where they wind down on weekends with wine and the Wall Street Journal or watch birds – on sunny or gray days.

“Even if it’s raining, we don’t care. With all these windows, it doesn’t matter,” Karen Whitney said.

Three bird feeders hang off the fully plumbed, second-story deck where the couple grills out with friends and watches the ever-running creek and forest.

The 30-foot-long deck is party central when the weather is nice, but the kitchen fills the bill in the winter. Stainless steel appliances, a long, two-tiered white quartz cooking and eating island and glossy white and textured gray European-style cabinets give the kitchen the modern feel Karen Whitney prefers.

“It’s a fun, fun, fun kitchen to cook in,” she said. “We hosted Thanksgiving last year, and I couldn’t believe how easy it was to cook the meal. There’s so much space and convenience.”

To the side of the kitchen and overlooking the stairwell’s cathedral-shaped window is a quartz-topped desk that the couple uses as command central, to pay bills and handle other household business. 

Two bedrooms are situated down a hall behind the kitchen, but before them is an inviting, steel-railed spiral staircase. Karen Whitney uses the slanted-wall and naturally lighted bonus room – which has two large cubbyholes behind doors for storage –for yoga, Pilates and TRX workouts. The third floor’s balcony hovers over the kitchen and great room and provides an up-close view of a special light fixture suspended inside the windowed cupola.

“My parents gave us that,” she said of the brass and crystal chandelier. “It came out of the old Shubert Theatre in Cincinnati.” It lights up the great room like a stationary disco ball, her husband said.

A guest room with full bath and the master with bath and massive walk-in closet are back down the spiral staircase and below the bonus room. The couple outfitted their closet with a system purchased at the Container Store that holds all their clothes and accessories. There is no dresser or wardrobe in their room, just open space and a clear view from the bed of the backyard and the rising moon.

“It’s the most wonderful bed to sleep in, until you have to get up,” Karen Whitney said.

'We Took a Gamble on it'

The Whitneys had just remodeled their contemporary house on Little Dry Run Road, which sat on a half-acre and was what they thought they always wanted. Leaving it was far from their minds – until they spotted the old horse barn on Five Mile.

“We took a gamble on it,” said Jerry Whitney, whose experience rebuilding vintage cars equipped him with mechanical skills and gave him confidence they could build their own home.

“Our financial adviser said, ‘You guys are crazy if you don’t do it,’” he said. So they did, but not without sacrifice. Living in a trailer during the treacherous winter of 2013-14 and storing their belongings in a nearby 20-by-30-foot shipping container for 18 months weren’t the only challenges they faced.

“We’d never built a house before or made all the decisions we had to make, sometimes instantaneous ones like when your builder asks, ‘What do I do now?’ and you’ve got to have a decision right then,” he said.

“We turned it into an adventure that we could write a book about,” Jerry Whitney said. “Karen’s quote is, ‘We never thought we would live in a dream house, and now we own one.’ To go from a normal house to this is just amazing. I swear we were meant to be here.”

Chance to See the Whitneys’ House

The 2016 green living tours by the Cincinnati chapter of the U.S. Green Building Council includes the Whitney house on Sept. 17 ($15 for non-members). To join the Green Living Member Circle, click here. The group will tour a modern house in Northside on Jan. 16.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

the year of living with banksy – Demi Adejuyigbe – Medium

Read article : the year of living with banksy – Demi Adejuyigbe – Medium
image
Wasn’t necessary to paint this on any walls, much less one outside my bathroom window.

When I first moved to Los Angeles in July of 2013, I found a room for rent in a house on Craigslist. I soon learned the landlord, and the man I’d be living with, was none other than the famous graffiti artist and incognito street poet Banksy. I never learned his true identity, but I did keep a journal of every strange thing he did in the year we lived together.

JULY 2013 — I toured Banksy’s house and fell in love with the living scenario immediately: my space was a large room in a ornate 2 bedroom craftsman home with a beautiful yard, for only $500 a month. I jumped at the chance, even when Banksy dressed up in a suit and red horns for the lease signing. He cackled devilishly through the whole affair and signed every page as “Lou C. Ferr,” but for $500 a month, I was fully prepared to let him set me on fire.

AUGUST 2013 — I called a plumber when my toilet stopped working. Less than a minute into the job he plunged out twenty tampons, each labeled with phrases like ”childhood obesity” and “the war on drugs.” Upon further inspection, we noticed the word “society” scrawled in Sharpie on the toilet lid. The plumber handed me a pre-typed invoice with a “Banksy fee” of $50 and said “see you next month.”

SEPTEMBER 2013 — Twice a week, I started catching Bansky dressed like a little boy (complete with propeller beanie and cartoonishly-large lollipop) kneeling before a life-sized statue of Colonel Sanders. Every time, he’d notice me watching out of the corner of his eye and say “In Colonel’s name we pray– yum yum.”

OCTOBER 2013 — Banksy painted a homeless man the exact pattern of our bathroom wallpaper and had him stand against the wall next to the toilet for a week. Every afternoon that week, Banksy walked into the bathroom with an American flag hat and exclaimed “Oh– sorry Mr. Homeless Man. I didn’t see you there.” On one occasion I asked if he was paying the guy, and Banksy changed the subject by asking if I saw “that real firecracker of a game last night.”

NOVEMBER 2013 — Banksy got into a routine with one of his art pieces: every few days, he dressed up in maternity clothes and directly called the local police station, saying he was going into labor. When they arrived, he pulled a doll labeled “Justice” from under a skirt and told the cops he “did a fine job delivering it without them.” This backfired spectacularly, as 911 started refusing calls from the house, even when Banksy almost burnt it down at the end of the month by cooking crack cocaine in a latex Nixon mask.

DECEMBER 2013 — For this month and this month only, Banksy vowed to pause all political art. He loved the time around Christmas and New Year’s, and rarely had someone to celebrate it with, so he didn’t want to alienate me and make me indulge in his traditions. Instead, we drove around the town in festive sweaters and looked at lights. We went to a Secret Santa party where he gave my friend Alan a nice cookbook. We stayed up late and made New Year’s resolutions. It was a pleasant little oasis in the often-chaotic time we spent together.

JANUARY 2014 — Bansky brought home a box turtle and put it an afro and a Big Dogs baby tee. I don’t know what it meant.

FEBRUARY 2014 — Banksy was out of town for the month. This was when I found paper bags piled under the sink, with eye-holes and phrases like “CELEBRITY IS A CONSTRUCT” or “FINGER-LICKIN’ GOOD” scrawled on them. It was also around this time we started receiving residual checks for Transformers 3, and calls to the house asking if “Shia” was home.

MARCH 2014 — My parents mailed me a box of home videos from my childhood, but Banksy got to the mail first that day. By the time I saw them, he’d edited in glitches with cartoon videos of Batman having sex with Goku. He mused out loud that the porn must’ve “corrupted” my youth. I asked why he chose such a weird specific porn and he again asked if I saw “that real scorcher of a game last night.” (Also– Alan reached out to tell me he finally opened the cookbook, and only found recipes for “barbecuing the government until it’s well-done.”)

APRIL 2014 — Banksy borrowed my guitar and learned to play The Star Spangled Banner and “Born In The USA,” but in the tuning of BAGDAD. Admittedly, this was the least annoying and most impressive of his weird political metaphors– until he smashed the guitar and printed statistics on veteran PTSD spilled out. I can’t be sure, but I think I also saw an invoice to KFC in there.

MAY 2014 — I got a job at an agency and had to wear a suit every day. This made Banksy… unreasonably upset. I installed a lock on my bathroom door because every morning, he would wake up before me and draw a clown on the mirror to outline my face whenever I looked into it. He changed the label for “work” on my GPS to “the circus.” One day after work, I found nine actual clowns huddled in my Honda Civic. I asked who hired them and they said he never gave his name, but did sign their checks as “B. Anksy.”

JUNE 2014 — Banksy gave me a screenwriting book for my birthday. It was hollowed out and rigged it to blow bleach in my face when I opened it. The dedication read ”Demi– if all you know is from inside a book, you become blind to the world outside of it. xoxo Banksy” I missed a week of work and lost my job.

JULY 2014 — On the 1st, Banksy asked if I wanted to renew, and I said no. I was ready to explode at him with all the reasons why– that he ruined my job prospects, that living with him made me fear for my possessions, that it was hard to be intimate when any girl I brought home had to hear racist Nixon recordings through the walls. But he never asked. He didn’t confront or fight me, or even ask me to stay, because he knew exactly why I was moving. He just paused, frowned, and sighed “okay.”

The following month was quiet. No art, no alarms, no surprises whatsoever. He replaced my guitar, restored my tapes, and washed his drawings of the Instagram UI off all the window frames. When I came home, he would just be sitting in his room solemnly reading a book. And even though he’d made my life a terror for a year, it made me feel bad.

On the 31st, I was packed into a U-Haul and ready to move. I thanked Banksy for the room and bid him farewell, to which he mumbled “no problem” and flashed a toothless smile without getting up from the computer. On his screen, I saw the same Craigslist housing ad I found all those months ago– this time with $100 off the asking price, and a few “pleases” and “sorry in advances” strewn about the ad. It was hard to not feel sympathy for Banksy. I thought about how lonely he must be in this big house, with only paintings of a gun dressed like the Pillsbury Dough Boy to console him. So I gave him something to remember me by.

I pulled my guitar from the U-Haul and cut the lowest string, before tuning the 5 others. I quickly Googled something before scribbling numbers on a Post-It and shoving the note inside the guitar. He was about to go for a walk when I came back in to give him the guitar, calling it a memento of our time together. Then I asked him to play it. He hesitated for a second, then strummed the five uncut strings to hear the tuning– BADGE. Without holding back, he smashed the guitar against a wall, sending fragments of wood and plastic everywhere. And in that mess of fragments, Banksy found a tiny Post-It note with hastily-scribbled police brutality statistics on it.

I hugged Banksy and told him living apart doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends, and with a bright, beaming smile he responded “Okay.” Then he asked me if I wanted to come back and hang out next Thursday. I told him I couldn’t wait. After all, there’s a real barn-burner of a game happening that night.