Wash, don’t wipe, your butt.

Read article : Wash, don’t wipe, your butt.

By Sparklee A Hole.

If you can read this, you are a human, and you poop. A subject that may delight a few, and disgust many more. but opinions don’t count, because we all have to go and poop. It is what happens afterwards that is rarely discussed. People from different cultures have different ideas about what you should do next. An American or a Brit, who has only ever seen a toilet roll next to a toilet, may travel abroad and find one of the five following devices at his or her disposal.

• A porcelain bidet
• A bucket or barrel of water with a scooper
• A shower spray connected to the toilet tank water supply with a T-adaptor
• An electronic toilet seat that dispenses sprays or jets of warm water and may also air-dry the area
• A pipe that shoots water upwards.

There may be more systems than these five, but these are the common alternatives to simply using dry tissue paper to clean up.

Conversely, someone from the Arab world, or the Philippines, or parts of Asia, might visit The USA and be appalled to find out that Americans believe they can clean their anal area following defecation with nothing more than dry tissue paper. And they would be right, because it really does take more than tissue to be clean following the business.

Clearly, washing is more efficient than tissue-wiping when it comes to removing the after effects of going, especially if a lather from detergent is introduced, so what do these mysterious foreigners do in the bathroom?

The Bidet.

Often seen beside a toilet, the bidet has featured in travel jokes for decades. It is basically a little bathtub that one squats over to wash the area. These usually have hot and cold running water and can squirt, rinse and spray. Anyone who has used a bidet is probably emerging from the bathroom clean.

The electronic bidet toilet seat.

The Japanese have pioneered this field. To have one of these, your toilet needs to have electricity as well as water. These devices, controlled with the push of a button are designed to wash and then dry the area, without the user leaving the seat. Some are simple and some are full of hi-tech features.

The Tabo

Called the tabo in the Philippines but known by other names in South Asia, this system is basically a jug of water, filled in a bucket or barrel or from the tap. The user raises up slightly from the toilet seat and pours water towards the small of the back where the space between the butt cheeks is. The water naturally flows down and over the skin and washes the area.  In practice, although rarely talked about, the user usually puts soap on his or her fingers and washes the butt, just like everyone does in the shower and then rinses with the tabo. Of course this means touching the unclean substance in question (poo) but the hand is using soap and water so with practice it ends up clean when all is over. In the Philippines, bathrooms are wet, meaning there is usually a floor drain and a faucet on the wall, which is used to fill the vessel. The tabo is difficult for lifelong wipers to accept, but it does remove all traces of waste and associated bacteria, so should not be criticized. Anyone with a sink within arm’s reach of the toilet, and a plastic jug or jar, can try the tabo right now, with nothing to install. In rural areas, the tabo is also used for outdoor, full body bathing.

The bidet shower spray.

The Arabs call it a shattaf, (sounds like shit off, which is basically what it does), but this is nothing more than a handheld water shower that connects to the water inlet valve for the toilet via a T-connection. Room temperature water is sprayed on the anus after the business is done. As with the tabo, hand washing the area with soap is an unmentioned option. These sprays are often called diaper sprays or nappy sprayers, because they can also be used to wash off most of the baby poo from your baby’s diaper before tossing it in the bleach pail. The baby poo just goes right down the loo. The downside to using a handheld shower spray in a colder climate is, in winter, the tap water can be extremely cold. In some places these are called the muslim bidet and other names, because the muslim world is apparently quite particular about keeping clean down there. But if your bathroom is in Thailand or Saudi Arabia, to name a couple of places, you’ll probably have a sprayer adjacent to the toilet, and the water will not be a cold shock.

The sprayer pipe.

In Egypt you are likely to see a curved brass pipe at the back of the toilet bowl. This is water spraying at it’s most basic. Just turn on the tap and a jet of water shoots towards the butt for hands-free washing, or manually assisted soaping, as discussed under the tabo.

So here is the taboo subject of cleaning the ass being discussed in a magazine. Some will find the whole subject unthinkable and live their whole lives failing to properly remove poo and bacteria with their little pieces of tissue paper, and others will never use tissue paper instead of washing. While it may be obvious which idea is more effective,  preconceptions about what is civilized may keep most westerners in the dirt until they are buried in the dirt. But whatever you do following a poo, follow by washing your hands with soapy lather, and you’ll stay safe.

Sparklee A Hole is always ready for inspection and never has to hide his underwear deep in the laundry basket.

Editor’s note: We had almost 150 comments on this post, some quite well written and lengthy. But some comments contained less than tolerant cultural attacks etc., and so we made a decision to disable comments for this post and delete all that were here.

Shower gel better than soap? It just won't wash

Read article : Shower gel better than soap? It just won't wash

• Eight out of ten people wash themselves with gels costing up to £4 a bottle
• Tesco has 94 gel brands on sale, each with its own name, ingredients and unique smell
  

By David Derbyshire for MailOnline
Updated: 16:16 BST, 17 October 2011

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comments

Cleaning up: Gels first appeared in British bathrooms in the Seventies. Today some 200million bottles are sold in Britain every year

Whoever invented shower gel must lie awake at night — no doubt in a gold-plated, four-poster bed — chuckling at the audacity of it all.

Here is a product that is expensive, packed full of man-made chemicals, difficult to use and wasteful. And yet, thanks to the persuasive power of marketing, bottles of it sit proudly in almost every bathroom in the land.

Once, we cleaned ourselves with bars of long-lasting soap that cost the equivalent of a few pence a week. Today, more than eight out of ten people wash themselves with gels costing up to £4 a bottle.

Not that shower gel manufacturers admit they are involved in the business of washing, of course. Instead, they sell their wares as revitalising foams, honey shower milks and rebalancing body experiences.

Imperial Leather’s Japanese Spa Foam Burst is, it claims, designed to help you wake up in the morning. Palmolive’s Absolute Relax is supposed to send you to sleep.

You will struggle to find a shower gel that admits what it is really intended for: as a way of removing dirt, sweat and grease. Long gone are the days of explicit adverts for Lifebuoy — the soap that said ‘No to BO’.

But if Britain has gone crazy for shower gel, with an estimated 200 million bottles sold in the UK each year, there are signs of rebellion.

Former Tory MP, television presenter and newspaper columnist Matthew Parris recently went on the offensive.

In a passionate attack against pointless toiletries, he highlighted the design flaws of shower gels.

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Gels have come a long way since PZ Cussons, the makers of Imperial Leather for a long time regarded as the traditional hard soap for middle-class families

He pointed out that most of the bottles don’t stand upright on curved soap dishes, or they leak when hanging from their plastic hooks. They are difficult to open, easy to spill and hard to apply (how do you use shower gel to wash your feet?)

And most of the gel squirted into the user’s hands slides to the floor to be washed down the drain.

While the secret of soap-making goes back to at least the Ancient Babylonians in 2800 BC, when animal fat was mixed with the ashes of wood fires and melted, the first liquid soap was patented in 1865

Parris — who stopped using shampoo years ago and who claims his hair has never been cleaner — estimates that millions of gallons of gel are washed away unused every year.

Despite these flaws, Britain’s love affair with shower gel is going strong. Tesco, at last count, had 94 brands on sale, each with its own name, ingredients and unique smell.

Most sane people would struggle to come up with 94 different conventional fragrances for toiletries. But the clever people at Unilever and Cussons have got round that by persuading consumers that what they really want to smell like is food: thus we can wash ourselves with Chocolate and Mint shower gel, Milk and Honey shower creme, or Cranberry and Honey shower scrubs.

Evidently, gels have come a long way since PZ Cussons, the makers of Imperial Leather — for a long time regarded as the traditional hard soap for middle-class families — introduced its first ‘Luxury Shower Gel’ in 1978.

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Former Tory MP Matthew Parris recently highlighted the design flaws of shower gels

Gels were, in part, a response to a change in bathroom habits that saw showers growing in popularity as our lives became busier and we all became more aware of the need to use water sparingly.

But the rise of shower gels can’t be explained simply by the move from the twice-weekly bath to the daily shower. After all, showers had already become a staple of homes by the Seventies, and for at least a decade after that, most people were happy with soap — or occasionally the more exotic ‘soap on a rope’.

The secret of their success lies in the fact that while they are cheap to manufacture, they are easy to brand as a luxury. By selling them as modern, convenient and indulgent, cosmetic companies cleaned up.

While the secret of soap-making goes back to at least the Ancient Babylonians in 2800 BC, when animal fat was mixed with the ashes of wood fires and melted, the first liquid soap — the forerunner of today’s shower gels — was patented in 1865.

Modern gels are more complicated to make. But their basic ingredient, a detergent that sticks to grease and water, is similar to the detergent in hard soap bars.

'Most of the differences between brands are trivial in terms of what they do functionally — removing dirt and grease. But the real difference — and this is the genius of marketing — is how those small differences, like the fragrance and the associations that come with that fragrance, can be used to create something more than the product'

In order to remain thick, perfumed and coloured, a typical shower gel must contain around 20 chemicals, some man-made, others derived from plants. It will have a couple of plant-based detergents, an array of perfumes, salt to thicken it, glycerine — a clear, sticky liquid used in cough mixtures and icing on cakes — to make the gel silky, film-forming agents, lactic acid (found in sour milk to counteract the alkali and make it pH- neutral), preservatives, agents that reduce static in human hair and natural plant extracts.

Most of these plant extracts have very little practical purpose and are just for marketing purposes so that the gels can have fancy names.

And marketing is what it is all about. From the earliest days of industrially produced soap, manufacturers realised that to sell more soap, they needed to persuade Britons to become more ‘hygienic’: the more people washed, the bigger the profits.

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that some of the earliest and most successful advertising campaigns were for soaps.

Costly: Today, more than eight out of ten people wash themselves with gels costing up to £4 a bottle

The English company Lever Brothers created Lifebuoy in 1895 and sold it as an antiseptic soap. The company also invented the term BO for body odour. Pears devised a sophisticated transparent soap and launched the yearly search for Miss Pears.

Yet no marketing campaign for soap was enough to fend off the advance of shower gels.

Those who prefer gels say they are happy to put up with the extra expense for the sake of convenience: unlike soap, they don’t leave scum or mess around the shower, and small amounts go a long way.

But for many, they are a victory of marketing over common sense.

One of the UK’s top marketing gurus, who has worked with many gel manufacturers, said: ‘Most of the differences between brands are trivial in terms of what they do functionally — removing dirt and grease.

‘But the real difference — and this is the genius of marketing — is how those small differences, like the fragrance and the associations that come with that fragrance, can be used to create something more than the product.

‘That value to the brand is real. If a product has associations of being refreshing in the morning or relaxing in the evening, it can be a genuine bonus for the consumer; it might help people feel relaxed or refreshed.

‘Some of that association is intrinsic in the ingredients of gel, but much of it is created through advertising.’

So are we being taken for a ride by the marketing types? The answer is probably yes. But then, how many of us would really want to go back to using half a bar of soap in the shower when we could be reaching for a bottle of that oh-so fragrant Japanese Spa Foam Burst?